


Fire Bucklemming

by orphan_account



Series: Season 12 Codas [5]
Category: Supernatural, Supernatural RPF
Genre: Coda, Crack, Episode: s12e21 There's Something About Mary, F/M, Fire Bucklemming, Gen, Heaven, Resurrection, Satire, fuck y'all
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-13
Updated: 2017-05-13
Packaged: 2018-10-31 03:33:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10890822
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: I am distraught. Eileen deserved better.When Eileen arrives at Heaven, she's surprised to discover all the characters Bucklemming have killed off hanging out in a room together. They plot Bucklemming's downfall, and go through with it.





	Fire Bucklemming

**Author's Note:**

> Written directly into AO3. There's one comment about rape. This takes place in Heaven, sorta.

The scene opens up in the main room of the Bunker. Gavin MacLeod, Crowley's son, is sitting on one of the chairs, looking at a complicated pentagon drawing on the table in front of him.

Cassie, the black (are you expecting kudos for your token minority character, writers? because you aren't getting any) love interest from the infamous Route 666 episode, is sitting next to him.

Emma, Dean's underutilized daughter from Slice Girls, is on the right of her. She's peering at the sign in the center of the table with interest.

On the other side of Gavin sits Kevin, with a bunch of papers out in front of him, studying for his finals. It's a lot of work being in Advanced Placement.

Charlie is in a chair in the corner, her attention focused on a tablet in her hand. She's talking to her girlfriend, Dorothy, who's still in Oz.

The door opens and closes loudly. Eileen Leahy steps in.

Everyone looks up at her in surprise, speechless.

"You - you too?" Emma finally speaks up, voice small.

Eileen nods, and makes her way to the table, plopping down in an empty chair. Cassie hands her a beer, which she takes with a thankful smile.

Cassie frowns. "It's a shame. I was really digging your romantic chemistry with Sam. The show isn't going to go on for much longer (thank god), and who do they expect to set him up with? He deserves someone nice, _you_ deserve someone nice. How'd you die, anyway?"

Eileen doesn't reply, taking a large sip of her beer. They all look at her expectantly. Eileen takes another sip, then says, voice shaking, "Killed in the first two minutes. Just a death before the title card."

Charlie reaches over and gives her a reassuring pat on the back. "Hey, at least you weren't a lesbian killed by a Neo-Nazi, then dumped in a bathtub."

"Or brought back for one episode, with an unnecessary rape subplot," Gavin pipes up.

"And killed by Gadreel because of lazy writing," Kevin says, sighing, not looking up from his chicken-scratch papers. "Fucking Metatron."

"Plus, does _anyone_ even remember me or Emma?" Cassie adds.

"So, we came up with a plan to get rid of Bucklemming once and for all," Charlie says, "Gavin's dear old grandmother, Rowena (remember her? the writers sure don't) has brewed up a simple potion that will erase _all_ their memories of Supernatural. They'll be fired, and the show will stop being _complete_ crap."

"Sounds like a plan, I'm in," Eileen replies, smiling for the first time since saying goodbye to Sam.

\---

Eugenie Ross-Leming and Brad Buckner are walking down a small, deserted, alley at night (plot hole, what plot hole? this makes more sense than any of their episodes).

The squad sneaks up behind them, tip-toeing, looking like dinosaurs. Super badass dinosaurs.

Lightning-fast, Charlie shoves a hex bag down Eugenie's mouth, while Eileen shoves one down Brad's mouth.

The squad leaves, looking as fabulous as ever. Gabriel (who's alive) brings them back to the Supernatural Universe.

Unfortunately, the pair later end up choking and dying. :(

\---

Eileen is resurrected. Sam becomes fluent in sign language. She and Sam take a well-deserved vacation to Ireland. They then retire. Raise children. Have barbeques with Dean, Cas, Jody, and their friends still alive on weekends. They're happy. 

**Author's Note:**

> If Cas, Jody, or Claire die in the finale I'm quitting this show. Period. Also, fuck Bucklemming :D


End file.
